My mom went out while I came back from a day out with a friend and I wasn't able to get in the house because my sister has my key set. It was ten minutes but my brain jumped from “didn't think I'd be coming back so early” to “clearly no one loves me” in 2.5 seconds. In that ten minutes (and I was standing in front of my house on the street) I managed to literally claw up and down my arms and hit them on the door frame several times, kick the wall until it hurt to stand, and text my mom several times implying that she didn't love me as much as my sister (she leaves the door open for my sister in the garage).
I know I'm overreacting. God, I'm overreacting so much and I'm horrible and probably spoiled and I can't tell if I'm actually mentally ill or just a horrible manipulative bitch. I'm literally so embarrassed by this. I feel completely terrible for overreacting. I was going to cut myself because I was so angry and now I want to cut myself because I'm just horrible for putting my mom through this and acting like I do. I'm supposed to be an adult but if I get locked out of the house I start crying, every time, without fail.
I'm probably going to come back on this account and delete this post because I'm so embarrassed for acting like this. I don't even know why I'm saying this. I really hate myself.